because I'm tired of searching

every time I get the urge to see/hear them again.

The Clark Brothers - You're In My Heart

(the way he says "soul" at the end gives me chills)

The Clark Brothers - Amazed


The Clark Brothers - She's Got A Way

Favorite Scenes - Jason Street

The thing with Scott Porter is that a lot of his scenes are just so emotional. You have to see them to appreciate them. I guess the same could be said about most of the great scenes on this show. But just watching Jason, or Scott rather, transform from QB1! to a guy in a wheelchair with destroyed dreams and broken spirit... it's an awesome thing to see. This show feels like a documentary. These people feel real. And Jason Street feels the realest of them all. Down to his pasty hospital skin and desperate to be something eyes.

Pilot - Street stands in front of a chalkboard diagramming plays for little kids. One boy suggests that Street should play professional ball. Street leads them in prayer and a boy asks him if he thinks God loves football. Kid, you’re asking Jason Fucking Street. Of course his answer is, “Everybody does”.

Eyes Wide Open - Jason is trying to pick up a pencil off the table. Coach Taylor walks in. Coach asks him how he feels and he says he doesn’t feel much. (Heh. Ouch.) Coach gives him a football that the team signed for him. Jason asks when Riggins learned to sign his name. Coach says it’s really more of a scrawl. Coach tells Jason he always has a spot on the team no matter how long it takes. Jay asks about Matt. Coach says he throws like a girl but he’s fine. Jay tells him about Matt and says he likes to draw and listen to Dylan. “He’s a good kid” and that “he’ll make some things happen”. Coach looks at Jason with awe-filled love and says, “you’re a good man. You’re a good man. You’re what makes guys like me want to coach.” Jason says he’s sorry for letting him down. ((????!!!!)) Coach looks at him clearly determined to get his response through his head. “You did not let me down. You did not let me down.”

Wind Sprints – Jason Street is watching the football game with his mother beside him. When they start talking about Jason’s injury, she uncomfortably asks if he really wants to watch it. When she goes to change the channel, he barks, “Leave it”, holding a football in his gnarled fingers.

At the hospital, Lyla is putting away the Tupperware from her dinner with Jason and he asks her “just how depressing” her birthday was. She tells him it was exactly what she wanted and next year “when you’re better, we’ll go out to dinner”. Jason has reached a limit it seems. “When I’m better.” Lyla starts trying to sweet talk him saying “this is just a hiccup” and that in a year he’ll be back on track. She continues blathering until he yells “Stop!” She pouts and starts talking again. He tells her he can’t even use his hands and wants to know how she can’t see that. “What the hell is wrong with you?” He says it kills him that she comes in to see him all happy like nothing is wrong. Every night he dreams he can walk so every day he has to accept it all over again. He tells her it’s over. They’re not getting married. Then he tells her to get out. She pouts. He yells, “Get out!” She gathers her things and tells him she’ll be back tomorrow.

El Accidente - "I need you here, Tim. You are my best friend. I expect you here. I expect you here."

Coming back to the rehab facility after a trip to the lake with Lyla and Timmy, Jason wheels himself to the window to watch Lyla get into her car. The way he emotes in this scene, you get the feeling he does this every time she leaves, watches her get in her car and drive away. That this is habit. So he watches Tim and Lyla get out of Tim’s truck and start walking towards her car. Jason is smiling. He’s just had a wonderful day with his best friend and his girlfriend. He watches Lyla and Tim hug. The smile on his face fades the longer this hug goes on. He watches them touch foreheads. And the smile is gone without a trace as he spins himself around and heads away from the window.

Crossing the Line – To Phil after Phil warns him about quad rugby. “What’s the worst that can happen? Fall out of my chair? Break my neck? Oh wait. That’s already happened.”

Jason and Herc are wheelchair racing through the hallways. Jason is the first to the double doors and tells Herc not to feel bad because he was all-conference last year. Her says he’s not sure Jason should play on Thursday since so many people are against it. Him, Phil, the doctor and Jason’s “cute little cheater”. The anger is back on Jason’s face and he says she didn’t cheat. He starts to wheel away from Herc but Herc blocks him. Herc tells him he’s letting her mess with him. Jason wonders why Herc wants them to break up so badly (I believe he makes some accusation of Herc being gay). Herc tells him that as long as he holds onto the girlfriend he had when he could walk he could avoid the reality of being paralyzed. Jason tries to get past him and rams his chair into Herc’s and they both fall onto the floor. Jason tells Herc that Lyla is all he has. Herc says, “Just cause we’re crippled doesn’t mean we have to take the crumbs.”

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes – My absolute #1 favorite scene of the entire season. As a matter of fact, it's so good, it deserves its own subtitle. The Great and Noble Men of Dillon Panther Football - Football field at night. Smash pushing Jason. Matt with his hoodie. Matt asks what Smach means by "bi-polar." "It means she's crazy," Smash answers. Jason says it just means she has issues like everybody else. Smash says he’s dealing with it like a man by hiding in the bushes. Jason laughs and they (we) hear Tim's voice over the loudspeaker. "Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the great and noble men of Dillon Panther Football." Jason smiles and Tim comes back. They’re all drunk. Matt starts talking about getting caught and losing game time. Jason asks, “What would happen? Bench you? Start me?” and he’s wheeling around the field narrating a fake play. Tim wonders what Matt’s problem is. Smash wonders how anybody’s could be worse than his. Tim says, “I just tried to make out with my next door neighbor who is at least in her mid-thirties. I pretty much got put through the wall so I think I win.” Jason says, “no. Chair says I win. Every time.”

In the morning, Tim (who is still drinking) and Jason are up. Smash and Matt are still asleep and Matt has his hand on Smash’s stomach. Tim says, “This is so Brokeback, man.” They laugh and Tim asks, “Friends?” Jason answers “Yeah always. Texas forever.” Tim repeats, “Texas forever, man.”

Mud Bowl – At the settlement hearing. “We’re not here to win the lottery!”

(this would probably be more appropriately a favorite Lyla scene)
Lyla comes into Jason's house to find lying on the couch. He asks her to get him a glass of water. She does. He tells her he's been busy and she says he sure looks real busy.
Jason: "Get off my back Lyla! What do I have? I got a girlfriend who cheated on me. Parents who are breaking up because of some stupid lawsuit. Lost the coach. Lost the team. Lost my friends. Lost the quad rugby. So I got nothing. So I'm sorry if I haven't been the perfect boyfriend right now. But I've got a lot more on my mind than powderpuff and prom! And this cup is way too full, I'll spill it you know that!"
Lyla, throws cup at Jason. "No its not too full!"
Jason: "What the hell was that for?"
Lyla: "You think its been easy for me to help you in and out of that chair? Do you think that's easy?"
Jason: "No one's holding a gun to your head Lyla!"
Lyla: "I do it because I love you stupid! But now you're sitting here feeling sorry for yourself and acting like a jackass all the time. You want to play rugby? Find another team. You hate this lawsuit so much? Find a way to make it go away. And next time you want a glass of water, say 'please'!"

Best Laid Plans – OMG how I love this scene:
In Coach Taylor’s office, Jason and Eric are beating down Matt.
Jason: I think they are going to squash him.
Eric: Pretty much like a bug.
Jason: Like a flea, Saracen.
Eric: So I don't want you resting on your laurels. You understand me?
Jason: You don't have any laurels, Saracen.
Eric: Not a damn laurel.
And when Matt objects to spending his lunches with Jason because he has lunch with Julie.
Jason: I'll take care of Julie. I'll give her a call, tell her there is a new girl in town, and that girl is me.

State – Coach walks into the locker room. Jason is lecturing the team. "So here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna think about the off season. Off season's about development. Development of speed, development of strength, development of character." Eric continues down the hall without saying a word as Jason continues, "tomorrow we go to work."

Favorite Scenes - Tim Riggins

I'm doing him by episode because he's had so many that I love.

...And three episodes in, I realize that he's going to have like a hundred and this is going to be a REALLY long post.

Pilot – I’d be remiss to not mention our first introduction to Taylor Kitsch (‘s body). We ride along with the camera to a little and somewhat rundown house that can only be the home of Riggins Running Back #33 because that’s what the sign in the yard tells us. We enter the Riggins household and find him shirtless (be still my heart) lying on the leather loveseat. The coffee table in front of him littered with beer bottles.

Pilot – close-up of Tim Riggins. He raises his head and says, "That's not racism, man, I just don't like him.": "My name is Tim Riggins and I play fullback." "I just like to hurt people." Cut to him taking someone down on the field. The interviewer asking him if he smelled alcohol on his breath and Riggins denying it. And then the “Black Betty” sequence that I am going to cheat on and call it a team thing (or a coach thing) and not a Riggins thing.

Pilot - "Here's to God, and football, and 10 years from now, Street, good friends livin large in Texas. Texas forever. Yo! everybody, listen up. Let's do it! Let's touch God this time boys. Let's touch God."

Eyes Wide Open - Tim is riding in the back of Billy’s pick-up truck. Billy yells back to him that he saw the tackle and he doesn’t think Street is ever going to walk again, let alone play football. Tim listens in silence, cocks his gun, and shoots into the field.

Eyes Wide Open - Tim, in the locker room watching a football tape. He rewinds over and over and we realize that he’s watching that one particular moment on the tape. He’s sitting in the dark, alone, watching the giant screen. At first his face is blank, then his nose twitches, then his mouth. (*sob*)

Eyes Wide Open - At the diner, Tim is looking out the window or at his own totally gorgeous reflection. There’s a group of girls whining and crying about what happened to Jason. Tyra is fed up now and she says to the girls, “Seriously. Stop crying. You don’t even know Jason Street.” Tim just sits there being all brooding and hot. “So how drunk are you anyway?” Tyra snaps at Tim. And you want him to say something. Anything. Because he hasn’t said anything in like forever. He walks over to Smash’s booth all purpose-driven and tells Smash to get up because he’s in Street’s booth. Smash suggests to Tim that he “go home and sleep it off, man”. Ouch. Matt (at the counter) and Tyra (in their booth) cringe. He doesn’t appear drunk to you though, ftr. Just really hot and brooding. (maybe Taylor Kitsch’s acting isn’t evolved enough yet or maybe Tim Riggins just broods more darkly when he’s drunk) Tim says nothing but you’re tense because you know he’s going to say something or haul off and hit him. Instead though, he says, “You’re right.” Stunned silence from Smash (and you). Riggins tells them to enjoy the rest of their evening and turns to walk back to his booth. And you can’t tell for sure but you think Tim really is going to let it go. Until Smash says, “Hey, smile, Riggs. God don’t like ugly.” You scoff at this because Taylor Kitsch and ugly don’t really mesh in your brain but before you have a chance to really think about it, Tim hurls a glass that whips right above Smash’s head and shatters and startles the shit out of everybody. Tyra jumps up and goes to Tim while Smash’s gathering holds him back. Tim walks out.

Wind Sprints - Tim's on top a hill drinking beer and then hitting the empty cans over the hill with a golf club. (gorgeous) Tyra parks her pick-up next to his. Tyra asks him if he thinks she’s going away. He responds to her in a hurtful way, “you don’t seem to want to get the message.” She looks like a hurt girlfriend for a split second before she screams at him that he thinks he’s such a tough guy but he can’t even go see Jason in the hospital. He says nothing as he lifts the beer can to his mouth. She starts back to her truck. He asks, “How’s Smash?” She starts to go into the defensive girlfriend mode and tell him they didn’t really do anything then she remembers she’s a badass and says he’s slept with half the rally girls. Tim tells her, “We sure do have something special”. Hurtful. He just likes to hurt people. Instead of backing down though, Tyra lashes out some more. Trying to hurt him back, she tells him he’s “just another mediocre football player who’s going to grow up to drink himself to death”. Then she tells him if she gets in her truck she’s never coming back. Tim dismisses her with, “I get it, Tyra”. Now she has the look of a hurt girlfriend and observes that they’re really breaking up and “that’s all you say? That’s great.” Tim goes back to hitting beer cans over the hill with the golf club.

Wind Sprints - The boys are getting back on the bus after exhausting wind sprints in the rain late at night. Coach stops Tim and tells him that what happened to Jason wasn’t his fault. Tim says, “I didn’t even try…” and Coach says, “It is not your fault. I want you to let yourself off the hook.” Tim says, “yes sir” obediently and starts to get on the bus. Coach grabs his shirt and says he owes him a practice. Tim affirms and starts to get on the bus again. Coach tells him he can walk home and they’ll “call it even”. Coach gets on the bus and they pull away. Poor, tired, wet, smoking hot Tim starts walking in the rain to Pearl Jam.

Who’s Your Daddy? - Tim is sitting in what appears to be a girl’s bedroom. Lyla walks into her room and stops dead in her tracks when she sees him. He gets up and starts to approach her as she’s asking,. "What are you doing here? My father is right downstairs." Tim closes in on her and says, "Lyla... I can't. Lyla... I can't." He looks like he's about to cry as he reaches out and takes the laundry basket from her hands and kisses her. Who’s your daddy, indeed.

Git ‘Er Done - Eating breakfast at the kitchen counter, Riggins hears the knock on the door. "Yeah?" then smiles as Lyla enters. He pulls out a stool and she cheerily hops on it. He feeds her a forkful of waffles. She asks if Billy’s home. He says “no”. They smile at each other and kiss.

El Accidente - Tim pauses at Jason’s door; and quietly says, "Six." When Jason tells him it took him long enough to get there, Tim apologizes telling him that his truck isn't running and that he had to hitch a ride. Jason is irritated and tells him he should know why he asked him to come. Nervous Tim asks, "I do?" Jason answers, "six weeks, man. Six weeks." He tells Tim that his big event each day is going to “the commode. I gotta go the same time every day 'cause I gotta teach my body to crap on command." He tells Tim that Lyla is driving him crazy. He tells Tim that he is dealing with all this all alone. "I need you here, Tim. You are my best friend. I expect you here. I expect you here."

El Accidente – Tim, Lyla and Jason at the lake. Tim says, "The three of us... we'll rise up.. together… get through anything... anything at all."


Homecoming – Panther Homecoming, the boys all walk out onto the field behind Timmy who is pushing Jason in his wheelchair out onto the field. Tim gives them the go ahead sign and they all run and cheer themselves out to the field. Then the team surrounds Jason and they yell “Clear eyes! Full hearts! Can’t lose!” Tim has a great game and Coach gives him the game ball. Tim gives a speech about how he never really believed in the one team one heart stuff that Coach always talks about but now he does and he knows where they get their heart… from Jason. He hands Jason the ball and says, “I love you like a brother, Six. Like a brother.”

Crossing the Line – Tim and Billy at the grocery store. They’re arguing over how things cost money and Billy buying peas. (Tim about the peas: “You’re kidding me, right?”) They get to the checkout counter and Billy is removing items to bring the total down. Tim puts a magazine on the conveyor. Billy yells at him that they don’t have the money. Tyra shows up and offers to pay for it. Next thing we see is Timmy and Tyra getting it on in the meat locker (or something).

Crossing the Line - After a fight with Billy, Tim shoves him and says, "You're not my father. I'd be better off alone," as he walks out the door.

Crossing the Line - Tim goes to watch Jason play in his frighteningly violent wheelchair game (with Lyla). When it’s over, he goes over to him to congratulate him. He kneels in front of Jason’s wheelchair and Jason punches him in the face (eep). When Tim gets home, Billy sees his eye. When Tim tells him what happened, Billy hands him the bag of peas for his eye and gives him half of his sandwich.

Full Hearts – Tim pulls into his driveway and sees some of the team waiting for him. He knows they’re mad at him for sleeping with Jason’s girlfriend. He kind of nods like he knows what’s coming and they smash his truck with baseball bats. Later, as he’s cleaning out his truck, Tyra stomps over to him and slaps him across the face. “Anybody but her.”

Full Hearts - Tim gets hurt during a game. A bit later, Coach asks him if he has one more in him. He says he does. The team is impressed with him for toughing it out and all is forgiven (as it should be because hello? It’s not really their business who he sleeps with).

It’s Different For Girls – Lyla is sitting in the cafeteria trying to ignore two boys who are harassing her. Tim Riggins comes over and chases them away. Lyla asks Tim why he’s “sitting with the school slut". She explains to him that it’s different for girls and he can’t sit with her because he’s making it worse. Tyra asks Tim in the hallway what he was doing with Lyla in the cafeteria and tells him he’s making it worse for her. Tim tells her to stay out of it. She searches his eyes and is like, “You’re in love with her.” Just then, Tim’s face tells us that he just realized that too.

Nevermind – When Tami asks him if he knows what The Scarlet Letter is about and he tells her it’s, “about a gal named Scarlet… obviously.” So Landry is assigned to tutor Tim. They are supposed to be reading Of Mice and Men. Tim says he hasn't read the book yet and walks away with Landry calling after him, "What do you want me to do, read the book to you myself?" Cut to Landry, reading to Tim while he lifts weights. Landry asks him to repeat what he just read and Tim says “something about a river”. Landry asks “and what does that river look like?” Tim continues lifting, "It's real pretty, Landry." Landry chuckles and continues reading to him. One of the assistant coaches asks Coach Taylor what Riggins is doing. "Studying," he answers. Later, Landry and Tim are sitting on the bleachers at the football stadium finishing the book. Landry asks him what he supposes is “eating them two guys”…Tim thinks for a minute and says that the guy shot his best friend and now he’s the kind of man he never wanted to be. Landry is kind of careful at first, trying to keep Tim talking about it but then yells out “Exactly!” and blathers on a bit and asks how this relates to Tim. This shut Tim up. He tells Landry to just do it for him. Landry isn’t giving up though. He wants Tim to reflect. “This.is.a.book… about.two.best.friends… whose dreams… get crushed. There’s not something in that head of yours that you can relate this to?” Then he tosses the book down and leaves Tim sitting there by himself. “The only thing I ask of you is ganas. Desire.” (This is probably more a favorite Landry scene, I suppose.) Tim later goes to see Landry with his band (Crucifictorious) play to tell him he got a B minus and appreciates his help.

What To Do While You’re Waiting – This is really one of my favorite scenes because everything about it is beautiful. The ferris wheel in the background, the anticipation of the town waiting to find out if the Panthers made it to State… it’s just gorgeous, this episode. But. There is WAY not enough Tim in it. So yeah. Tyra has just had a fight with her mom’s boyfriend and then her mom. She’s throwing a big pink bear into a trashcan. Tim walks over and asks her if she’s okay. She says she’s not and tells him about Bob. Tim says with sincerity that he’s sorry. She says that all the women in her family let men treat them like crap. Tim lets out a sigh and says that’s what he wants to talk to her about. He tells her he is sorry for everything he’s put her through, “For that thing with Lyla. I was a complete jerk and I’m sorry.” And asks her for a second chance. She says she’s wanted to hear that from him so many times but she can’t take him back now because that would make her a hypocrite. “I guess time is everything.” (I think I have a youtube video of this somewhere around here.)

Little Girl I Wanna Marry You - Again with the not enough Tim but my favorite Tim moment in this episode was so awww. Tyra asks Tim for a favor. “It’s not going to involve thank you sex, or make up sex, or any kind of sex.” But Tim does it anyway. She wants him to ask Buddy to interview her mom. (The only reason I can think of for her to send Tim is that he’s a big shot football fullback and Buddy is President Booster.) He goes to Buddy’s dealership. Buddy tells him that his timing is terrible and Tim replies, “I get that a lot, sir.” (awwww) He listens to Buddy talk about Henry Saracen and the inappropriateness of Tim asking him for a favor (since he was the one fucking his daughter that led to all the Lyla is a slut stuff). Tim tells him that he knows he’s a big man in Dillon but all Tyra is trying to do is help her mom. (awwww) Buddy agrees to interview her.

Upping the Ante – Tim gets a traffic violation and is told he needs a guardian’s signature to keep his license. So he sets off to Corpus Christi to find his father… at a golf course. They have dinner and go bowling. Tim asks whether it is a good idea or not to stay there tonight. After some hesitation, Daddy Riggins thinks it sounds okay. They’re sitting outside around a fire talking about Jason. The conversation moves to Billy and Daddy says Billy saw some things that he’s not proud of. Tim says, “Dad, I was ten. I wasn’t blind.” Daddy asks if he’ll be in trouble for missing practice and Tim says it’s worth it.

Tim and his dad are teeing off and Daddy gives him six extra strokes. Tim says they should “up the ante”. If he wins, Daddy has to come to the game on Friday. Later, Daddy Riggins is (over) celebrating is win and Tim says “if you didn’t want to come to the game, you could have just said so. It would have been a lot easier.”

Tim drives back home. He walks in the door and tosses the signed paper in front of Billy and grabs a beer.

Blinders – Matt calling a seriously risky play. Tim says, "It's all you, Seven. How are you feeling, Seven?" Matt replies, "I'm feeling good Riggs." Tim exclaims, "Alright!"

Coaching Powderpuff football. Awesome! “This is now about stamina!” “Kick her knees!”

Black Eyes and Broken Hearts – Tim and the JV players he’s coaching in line at the cafeteria. Tim asks one of them about a play and when he pauses, Tim says, "Too late. Play's over. You waited too long to make a decision, and we lost the game. We're not going to State, and the whole town of Dillon hates you. You're never gonna laid your entire life. Fact. How's that feel right now?" A second JVer makes a comment. Tim tells him if he wanted him to talk he’d have asked him. Then he makes all three of them put down their lunch (and I believe one of them brown-bagged it). Tim tells the JVers to look over at Smash’s table and that they are looking at a quitter.

Smash gets tackled during their game against the Cardinals. The tackler follows him along after the play is over saying he’s going to break him in half. Calling him tar baby. Cut to Tim’s reaction to overhearing this. Smash continues to ignore him but Tim runs over and punches him through his face mask. Awesome.

I Think We Should Have Sex – (This is usually what I tell my husband after we watch this show but I didn’t title the episode.) Tim and his dad are hustling pool and drinking beer. The hustled guys are pissed and Timmy throws a pool ball at one of them, hitting him in the side. The guy didn’t see who did it and nobody tells him. Tyra is there to witness it. She goes to tell Billy that Tim is drinking again and it’s “right on schedule”. Billy tells her he tried to warn him to stay away from Walt but he didn’t listen and now he has to deal with it.
Walt is at practice telling Coach he should play Tim more. Later, they find a $3,000 camera missing. Coach goes to the Rigginses’ and Walt answers the door. When he denies knowing anything about the camera, Tim overhears and says, “He said he doesn’t know where the camera is.” Coach leaves and Tim follows him out the door asking if he’ll be asking all the other fathers about it.
Tim finds the camera (in some shed outside. This is when he walked past what I thought and still think was a pool and I asked Peter Berg to please show Timmy in the pool.) and shows his dad. Then tells Walt to get out. Walt says, “look how easy this is,” and leaves.
Tyra is at work and Tim goes back to the kitchen to ask if she can take a break. She can’t because it’s too busy. He pleads with his eyes but somehow she still doesn’t take a break so he tells her to forget it and leaves. And somehow she forgets it and lets him leave. (seriously. Is this girl blind?)
Tim is standing outside the hustling bar. The tosses the bottle and goes inside. He sees the guy he hustled and silently says, “come get me”. A bunch of guys follow him outside. The bartender calls Tyra and tells her Timmy’s about to get beat up. Tim is running at the guys, they’re hitting him and he’s not hitting back. He gets back up and smiles at them all bloody and (*sob*) gets hit again. Tyra pulls up with Billy and they run over. Billy tells the guy, “he’s just a kid.” (*sob*)
(And this is when I first started wanting Tim to move in with the Taylors.) Tim pulls up to the Taylors and knocks on the door. Coach opens it and sees his face all fucked up and asks him what happened. Tim hands him the camera. Coach asks him if he’s alright. Tim chokes back tears and says “yes”. Coach invites him inside but Tim says he’ll just see him at practice. (For having such a teasingly enticing title, this episode breaks my heart every time.)

Extended Families – Tim is under his truck fixing something (hummina hummina) and some little kid comes over being all loud. Tim asks him if he can shut up and the kid, Bo, says “I don’t know, can I?” Tim tells him that he has to because he is incredibly hung over.
Tim comes outside with his hat on backwards and sees the gutter that needs fixing over at Jackie and Bo’s so goes over and fixes it. (I love handymen.)

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes – My absolute #1 favorite scene of the entire season. As a matter of fact, it's so good, it deserves its own subtitle. The Great and Noble Men of Dillon Panther Football - Football field at night. Smash pushing Jason. Matt with his hoodie. Matt asks what Smach means by "bi-polar." "It means she's crazy," Smash answers. Jason says it just means she has issues like everybody else. Smash says he’s dealing with it like a man by hiding in the bushes. Jason laughs and they (we) hear Tim's voice over the loudspeaker. "Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the great and noble men of Dillon Panther Football." Jason smiles and Tim comes back. They’re all drunk. Matt starts talking about getting caught and losing game time. Jason asks, “What would happen? Bench you? Start me?” and he’s wheeling around the field narrating a fake play. Tim wonders what Matt’s problem is. Smash wonders how anybody’s could be worse than his. Tim says, “I just tried to make out with my next door neighbor who is at least in her mid-thirties. I pretty much got put through the wall so I think I win.” Jason says, “no. Chair says I win. Every time.”

In the morning, Tim (who is still drinking) and Jason are up. Smash and Matt are still asleep and Matt has his hand on Smash’s stomach. Tim says, “This is so Brokeback, man.” They laugh and Tim asks, “Friends?” Jason answers “Yeah always. Texas forever.” Tim repeats, “Texas forever, man.”

Mud Bowl – Coach tells the team they are going to build a football field. Smash doesn’t like the idea but Tim tells him to “just embrace the suck”. Heh.
Billy asks Tim where he’s going. Tim says he’s going to Jackie’s. Billy says, “Look I may not have a PhD in stupid like you do, but this is going to turn out badly.” Heh.

Best Laid Plans - Tim is getting out of his truck and Jackie comes over to him. He smiles and starts talking about tacos for dinner. She says they can’t have any more dinners because she doesn’t want Bo to get hurt. Tim says he didn’t think he was hurting him. She says he’s not now but she can’t put him in that situation any longer. She leaves Tim still not out of his truck.

Tim pulls into the driveway. Bo is waiting for him with a football. Tim kneels down and asks Bo if his mom has talked to him yet. Bo says she mentioned Tim would be busy but he figured “since we’re obviously buds” that Tim would make time for Him. Tim agrees but says he does have a lot going on right now. Bo says he’ll be back later and Tim says all right. As Bo is walking away, Tim asks, “Hey! Who pushes you around?” Bo yells “Nobody!” And Tim, still knelt over, watches him leave.
(I loved Tim interacting with Bo but not so much with Jackie.)

Tim pulls up to Tyra’s. Tyra guesses that the “old lady you were getting with dump you?" Tim is a bit taken aback and says, "interesting," and asks where she heard, she replies, "Small town, Tim." She tells him she’s not there to screw his brains out. He says he’s jut there as a friend. She asks if he knows what a friend is and then tells him what her definition of friend is (which interestingly enough is somebody who asks her to do things and hang out and that is exactly what he was doing there so I'm not sure exactly where she was trying to go with that) and says, “That's a friend.” Tim asks her to go the roast with him and that they shouldn’t overthink everything.

“How ‘bout Saracen sleeping with coach’s daughter!”


State - Tim runs over to Jackie as she's getting out of her car. She tries to avoid him but he tells her he wants Bo to have his State game tickets. No strings attached.

At the parade, telling Tyra with his eyes he was sorry for giving her tickets away.

At the parade, Billy passing Bo over to Tim.

Tim. Timmy, my Timmy, oh how I love thee.

How does one compile a list of favorite scenes from Season One?

I was reading a thread at TWoP where everybody was listing their favorite scenes from Season One of Friday Night Lights. I decided I wanted to do that too and since I haven’t joined their boards (I don’t know why I haven’t. Maybe I feel like I don’t have time or something) and nobody on the boards I post to are willing to obsess about it the way I do, I figured I would just talk to myself here on my lonely little blog. So then I was running through my favorite scenes in my head and decided to do them separately by character (by episode when necessary) because there are SO many. There are a few that don’t really involve a particular character (the opening credits, the team at Texas Stadium) that I will do at the end. Then maybe I can condense them all into one Top 10 list. I’m going to start this today.

Obviously, we’ll be starting with Tim Riggins.

Friday Night Lights: Episode 2-1 “Last Days of Summer”

I have some thoughts that need to get out of my head (and into my blog… that was, in fact, created for this kind of thing).

I can appreciate that the writers can appreciate Jesse Plemons as an actor. I can’t, however, appreciate what they’re doing to Landry. So yeah the actor can act and make everything you throw at him believable. Does that mean you have to make him an accidental murderer? Does that mean that he has to act so out of character? And Landry playing football? What? Dillon didn’t need a murder and Landry doesn’t need to play football. The same can be said for Adrienne Palicki/Tyra. I’m fine with softening Tyra but not to a point of helplessness and stupidity. When the attacker/stalker was following her and she pulled into the police station, there were indeed cops in the parking lot. She reported her attack so wouldn’t it have made sense to say something to those cops? This is eight months later, though that doesn’t make sense in my head (does the high school football season end in December? That would make it make sense I guess.), surely he hasn’t just popped back into town to start stalking her. And surely if he has been doing it for eight months, she would have done something about it before now. She can and will act her butt off no matter that Tyra’s decline into totally helpless female makes little sense.

Matt. Where did his confidence go? Is it gone because Smash is getting and taking all the glory? Is it gone because Coach Taylor left? I didn’t want or expect him to be all ego maniacal and obnoxious but I did expect some self-assuredness from him. Julie (I’m not even going to get into her) said they were the “it” couple, isn’t there glory in popularity? Not to mention being the star quarterback of a State championship team. Surely their breakup won’t send him back into high school hallway obscurity. Did he lose his captain status? We heard Grandma saying she's not taking the "C" off his jacket and nothing else. And if so, is that what sucked his confidence out?

Tim. So we’re back to him drinking himself stupid? Okay. I could see how that could happen but don’t downplay the ACTOR’s progression to emphasize the CHARACTER’s regression. I absolutely love Tim Riggins and it’s more than my total lust for Taylor Kitsch. From the pilot to the finale, his was the most impressive improvement… both the character and the actor. His ability to break my heart or make me feel complete joy with just his eyes is an awesome thing. He may just be my favorite television character of all time. So though I can see how it happened, it would have made a fascinating and heartbreaking storyline to watch happen. Not just to the Riggins/Kitsch lovers either.

Smash. Where is Waverly?

Jason. They can’t let him fade into the supporting cast. The Tim/Jason friendship is important to the faithful. The Jason/Lyla relationship is important to us too. And the dynamic of the Jason/Lyla/Tim triangle is more than enough drama for some. Add Scott Porter to the top of the everlong list of GREAT actors this show has cast and produced. Use him! Use him a lot.

One character storyline I totally believed and thought was done well was Buddy's. He acted the shit out of the few scenes he had (which is fine because he IS supporting cast) and it made perfect sense that he would be where he is now. Everything is going wrong for him. He's holding onto the hope that his marriage will work if given enough time and his rage at seeing her with another man. The new coach doesn't want him around the field. His daughter has become a *gasp!* born again Christian. I am horrified of where they could take Buddy.

Character progression has been such a big factor in what makes this show so wonderful. The slowness and the steadines (and perfectness) of Season One is what sucked me in and a big part of what made it a beautiful work of art. Getting to know the characters IS the show. So opening Season Two eight months later was kind of a big bummer to me especially since so many of them are totally different than they were when we left them… or rather, when they left us. I became so invested in them that I feel like I missed a huge chunk of their lives that I can’t get back.

I love Tandry. I do. But they are not and should not be the main focus of this show. But. I am faithful, obsessed, and invested, therefore, I will trust the writers until or unless I can’t anymore. I mean, it’s only been one episode, I know. But! It was an important one. We should have seen more of everybody. I have so many questions and I've missed them. This episode didn't help much with either of those things and this is the episode that should have. The media have been shoving this show down people's throats all summer to gain more viewers. For that I'm thankful. I'm supposing the murder was to keep viewers but I'm not so sure they've succeeded. All they needed in the opener was a re-introduction of characters. What did everybody do this summer? What has happened to them since we last saw them? Save the murder for 2-2 or 2-3, if you feel like you have to have it at all.

Friday Nights

I remember when Friday nights were for Skateland and secret under-aged drinking parties. Then when I was of age, it was about shooting pool and drinking beer. Then it was mostly about resting from a mentally exhausting week at the office and watching a movie with my husband. But I can't remember a time when I was so excited for a Friday Night! I can barely contain myself. Really. You can call me sad or pathetic or whatever else you want to call me but whatever you call me should end with "Friday Night Lights fan".

All I need is my remote control, a box of Kleenex and peace and quiet. For tomorrow, my favorite hour of the week is back.

squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

And with two sentences

I am now more in love with Jen Johnson than I am with James Rhine. Hard to believe considering my love for James.




"I obviously don't respect either of you as people in the real world, but at this point I have no choice but to vote for one of you."

"Well, I was wondering who was that childish when it happened...but now I see it was America."




Because of James, I watched this year. I always found this show to be kind of blah and couldn't get into a season until season 6 (and I love James so I have to assume it was because of him). Then I watched season 7 because he was on again. I stopped watching it when he was evicted and I didn't miss it.



But I started watching it this year. I think I was intrigued by the Big Brother After Dark aspect and getting some of that house vibe without reading ceaseless ramblings from board posters to get one tidbit of information. Then I was getting kind of angry that I got sucked into it this year with all the threats of death by sodomy and the whining and the spitting and the calling a bikini model fat and how frushhhhhhstraating everything was...
but because of Jen I feel like the Donato family season wasn't a total waste of time.

And with that, I have gained three additional television-free hours per week. (We're not counting the 21!!!! hours of BBAD because I gave that up last Thursday when bunny Zach was sent to the jury house.)

Scripted Reality

If you know a "reality" show is fixed from the beginning, do you continue to watch it? I know I do. I watch it hoping I was wrong. I watch it hoping for some dramatic ending. I watch it because I just know that CBS can't be that obvious about fixing a game. They can tell me as many times as they want that it wasn't fixed but I will never believe them. This article mentions exactly when one of the competitors lost the competition... at least twice. It also mentions the total coldness of his loving daughter. What a heartless cunt (if there is ever a person this word needs to be used to describe, it's this person). Here are a few examples:

{snip}

12:25 - I am absolutely convinced that I saw Dick let go of the key. From the look on Daniele's face she saw it too but Big Brother doesn't call it and the competition continues.

{snip}

1:56 - I see it again! Dick clearly let go of the key. There was a close up of it on feed one. Again Big Brother does nothing about it. It doesn't get any more obvious than that.

{snip}

2:00 - Daniele goes over to her Dad to encourage him and tells him "You're doing so good, I could never have done this!" Dick tells her "I'm done." She says "Don't give up, you're doing so good." Dick starts to cry. Then Daniele starts to cry. She turns and walks away. She knows it's over. She walks into the house, doesn't want to be there anymore. She watches her Dad through the window.

{snip}

She tells her Dad that the hoses that were wetting them down were not turned on to the same force of water. She says "mine was like a two, a drip. Zach's was like a six, it really blasted him." She tells Dick the hose guy kept grinning at her. Of course the feeds cut. Can't have more of Big Brother's influence being shown to the live feed viewers.

If anybody could make me feel badly for this obscene excuse for a human being, it's his daughter. He kept looking at her, pleading for her to tell him it was okay to step down and she wouldn't.

His hours-long verbal abuse, requested once again by his darling daughter, directed this time at Zach, were humiliating. Calling him "panty muncher", making fun of his teeth (because his father is a dentist), making obscene comments about his ex-girlfriend, implying he's a racist... But I'm not sure who he humiliated the worst, himself, Zach or Zach's family and friends... or the viewers. I kept wanting to fast forward through my three-hour recording of Big Brother After Dark, most of which was him taunting Zach with spit dripping down his chin and Zach just standing there, but I couldn't. I felt terribly that nobody was there for Zach. Nobody was there to tell Dick how disgusting he is. So I watched it. I watched it somehow feeling like I was supporting Zach.

I said a few posts back that I almost want to start rooting for the Donatos. How stupid were the other houseguests to not get rid of them when they could? Zach not using that veto was almost the last straw. Then they opened their mouths and I was reminded why it is impossible, as a compassionate human being, to root for them.

I so want the jurors, the poor evictees who have to choose between the two most disgusting people to ever appear on "reality" television, to tell them how horrible they are. I want the Donatos to walk out of there knowing that they will never gain respect from any of those people. I want one of them to tell them how I feel about them. Please, Dustin, Jen, Zach, please salvage something from the weeks I spent watching in horror as you all let these people slip through.

I fear though that the only satisfaction I can get out of this season of Big Brother is just knowing that money will not make their lives better and the hope that it causes a greater divide in their relationship.

I hope Nick watched more of the live feeds and realizes what a wretched, hateful, despicable, cold-hearted bitch he poured himself all over and he runs away as fast as he can.

I want to tell you that I will never watch this show again but it brought me James Rhine so it can't be all bad all the time. I just fear that next year we'll have fourteen people going, "Are you America's Player?"..."I bet he's America's Player." and a bunch of Evel "You think you're a rebel?" Dick wannabes pouring tea on people's heads and threatening death by ass rape.

For the heck of it, my list in order of likability:
Jen *floaty hearts*
Jameka
Zach
Mike (based on the probability that he would have likely stood up to Dick)
Dustin
Kail
Joe (?)
Carol (?)
Jessica
Amber
Nick (though he'll jump up to the top if he dumps Daniele on live television)
Dick
Eric
Daniele

It is driving me insane

That this:

is showing up as a red x up there.

I don't usually watch music videos but:

Milo.

And also? I'd like to watch this:



And in Big Brother news, Zach Zach Zach. Oh Zach. He had the PERFECT opportunity to get rid of Daniele. Evel "You think you're a rebel?" Dick won HOH and nominated Eric and Jameka. Zach won POV. He didn't use it. Hello? Take Jameka/Eric off. Dick HAS to put up Daniele. Zach and Jameka/Eric vote her out. ugh. *rolls eyes* But I was not sad to see Eric or Jess go. Though I would have liked to see how he would play his own game. So yeah. As much as I don't think Dick deserves to win, I think all the rest of them deserve him to win. ugh. Though from the little bit of BBAD I watched, I saw that Zach did win HoH again and Daniele was whining so I'll have to read up on the happenings. Maybe he got smarter?

I'm getting prepared for the fall television season.

I am so ready for this to come back on my television... October 5th:




For the love of Peter Petrelli, I am ready for this... September 24th:

oh Milo... it was the future disfiguration that did it.

and I'm ready for this because Hello? who doesn't get all "go ahead bite me" over hot vampires?... September 28th:

I'm SURE there are more but that's all my brain has room for today.

I may seem shallow (no really?) and all but come on, Friday Night Lights and Heroes are really good shows and I have high hopes for Moonlight with a Ghost Whisperer lead-in.

I can't figure out a scenario in which Daniele doesn't walk out of this with $500,000. Please convince me that it can be somebody else. ANYBODY else. Yes, I hate her that much. Although. It would be quite a pleasure for me to see her win if it's her and Eric in the F2. Okay, anybody EXCEPT "AmERICa's Player". That is the only F2 combo that I'd want her to win. I am afraid though, that I have to root for the Donatos at this point. I think they are vile excuses for humans but nobody else (except Zach) that's left has a brain. I feel like I've been ass raped until all the life ran out of me by Evel "You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel you're fucking psychotic!" Dick. (Quote courtesy of Veronica Sawyer - Heathers) Now? I almost want a D&D F2 with a Dick win. The problem with a Dick win is that, if this show makes it another year, we will have a slew of Dick wannabes on the show.
We need a Zach win. I wouldn't terribly mind a Jameka win. AmERICa screwed this one up too. Because once "America's Player" is kicked out of the house, he will have successfully mindfucked everybody else into eliminating everybody that deserves the win. Oh wait. That person was voted out last week (and possibly the weeks of the second and third evictions - I hardly knew thee). It's soooo frusshhhhhhhhtrating. I haaaaaate everyyyyybody in that howwwwwwwwwwse. (Except Zach.) It's just so tedious to watch. Especially when the outcome has been scripted from day one and it became VERY obvious several weeks ago.

I miss Jen. :( Obviously they do too. They never stop talking about her. Never. These people need her. We need her in that house. Last night they were talking about her beard and her tail. Remember when Eric talked about her tail in front of everybody and she lifted up her shirt and asked where it was... and nobody could see it or figure out what that tiny little weasly man was referring to? Yeah.

I’d like to stop watching it like so many other people have done. Especially knowing that Dick will never get what he deserves for treating people the way that he has. Namely Jen, of course but he has treated everybody horribly at one point or another. And knowing that one of these people that isn’t Zach will walk out of this a “winner”. I would rather anybody, except Nick, who has left this house to win over anybody (except Zach) that is left in it. Even Kail, with her negative perception of homosexuals, she never treated Dustin badly. And the way they (producers) are portraying Amber is insensitive and just downright cruel. I’m not saying she’s a peach either. I’m just saying they make me feel bad for her. I hope she does get eliminated this week to regain some perspective and get to talk to two decent human beings for a week before somebody else comes in there to make sure sequester isn’t any fun anymore. Just like the house isn’t any fun anymore. Just like the show isn’t fun to watch anymore.

ah. The SF Gate has an article about CBS and it's Kid Nation and Big Brother. The dude says that everybody looks like an idiot when they're in a house for three months being filmed 24/7. I kind of said something of the sort too. I don't know if I'd look like an "idiot", I'd like to think not, but I doubt I'd come off as everybody's favorite houseguest. Do you think you'd look like an idiot?

(I keep adding more...)

So okay. I'm really going to miss watching So You Think You Can Dance. I don't remember if I feel this bummed about it every year or not.

I've been saying through the season that I want Sabra to win. I've always thought Danny is the best but I just felt like she should win. That is, until last night. I will be bummed with the voters again if he doesn't take this season. He blew everybody away last night. The first season I wanted Blake to win because he was the best. The second season I wanted Travis to win (when it came down to him and Benji) , I thought Allison was the best but Natalie was my favorite. I just love these contemporary dancers. I was telling Jen that I like to be touched by dance. If they make me feel something, I love it. Danny's dancing is so beautiful. I don't ever remember thinking that before. He's amazing to watch. It touches me the way that beautiful music does. It's art. Blake always made me feel like he was putting everything into his dance. That touched me. It was the same way for me watching Natalie doing her solos last year. So. If there was ever a season that a girl should have won, it was the second season. This is all in my opinion, of course.
My reasons for not being able to bring myself to say that Danny is better than Blake are for that reason. When I watch Danny dance, it moves me to tears at times but not for the same reasons. Danny makes me cry because he's beautiful. Blake and Natalie (and Allison) make me cry because they wrench my heart. But Danny is the only one thus far that has made me verbally pledge my undying fandom. I would pay to see him dance by himself for hours.

I'm going to put some of my favorite dances in this post. I can't watch the youtubeys at this moment but I'll try to remember to check them later.

Danny and Anya "Apologize"


Kameron and Lacey "Dancing"


Danny and Neil


Danny "We Are The Champions"


Neil solo


Kameron solo


Blake "Body Language"

(it's mind numbing to me that he didn't win based on this alone)

Hok and Jaimie


Neil and Sabra


Blake and Destini


Season 3 top 10 "The Moment I Said It" Imogen Heap


I'm so bummed that I can't find a link for last year's group number to Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek" because that? was awesome.

Season 2 top 10 "Ramalama (Bang Bang)" Roisin Murphy


Allison and Ivan "Sexy Love"


And by all means, please visit blakemcgrath.com.

gah. There are many more, I'm sure. And I think I have more to say but I can't think of anything right now. Words are forming correctly for me lately.

This year's Big Brother contestants are horrible. They all suck so much as people that I am forced to root for a narcissistic bikini model who cries over bad pictures. I was feeling bad for Eric because he was thrown the role of "America's Player" and made to cast ignorant votes (from probably the same people who voted for Jordin) that were/are based on CBS's editted bullshit. But you know what? He could have thought up lies to reason why he placed those votes instead of letting others take blame for them (Nick, Jen, Daniele). And? He's vile. And? He wanted Nick out because they had the same gameplan? Really? Eric. Please. Big difference between Nick flirting with girls and you flirting with girls. Dick is a misogynistic pig who spits way too much in a confined area where people walk around in bare feet and threatens to ass rape people until they bleed to death because they didn't want him rubbing butter off of their hot bikini-clad body. Dani is not happy unless she's bashing other people and she CLEARLY sees herself as so far above everybody else ~which, granted, probably isn't so difficult with this bunch of people. But how freakin cute is she in a bunny suit?!!! (Plus I'm totally convinced the Donatos are plants so I don't want to see them there anymore.) Jameka and Jessica don't bother me too much (aside from the constant and obnoxious mmmhmmming from Jameka) but they don't give me enough reason to care about them or think they're smart enough to stay. Zach is awkward and creepy but I wouldn't mind him staying until F2 because he's such the underdog. I almost like Dustin most of the time but he irks. Amber is... Amber Amber Amber. *sigh* I do feel bad for her because she's clearly mentally challenged (like for real) and has no business being there. She's ignorant to everything (asking Jameka if "God" offends Eric because he's Jewish, asking Jameka what words like adulterous, defy, celibate, and humiliate mean) outside of her own, obviously very sheltered, world. She's a recovering addict who clearly has no idea what kind of backlash she is in for when she leaves this house and I honestly have fear that she won't handle it well. IF, and that's a mighty big "if", Kail is still there tonight I'd like to see her, Jen and Zach team up and take the rest out. And I don't even like them. But whatever. I think my ultimate F2/win at this moment, because that's likely to change several times, would be Jen and Daniele or preferably Zach with Jen winning. I could never stay interested in a season until the sixth and this year reminds me why... because I really don't like most people that are cast on reality shows and this show is kinda boring unless you're a psych student. I'm not sure why I still watch it. No clue.

For Jen:


this is a gorgeous picture of him:

ha!

Look! It's Hok.
awwww..

Poor Jaimie. I feel like she got robbed. I love Hok but she was paired with him forever and he's not much of a partner-dancing kind of dancer. Then she gets Dom so I'm sure voters were noticing they didn't have the same kind of chemistry that Dom had with Sabra. And the choreography sucked. I would have LOVED to see her dance with Danny. Imagine all that gorgeous. *sigh*

More on Big Brother.
I would just like to note that I love Jen. She cracks me up. "I don't feel bad about people eating slop. I suck at that... the feeling bad thing. I definitely feel something but I don't know if it's bad." Ha!
It's mystifying to me that the same America that loved Janelle hates Jen. How backwards can we get? *remembers who the President is* *remembers who won American Idol this year* Oh yeah. Nevermind. Jen tries. You can tell she does but she's just kind of oblivious. Maybe watching BBAD or the feeds or just reading about them will help people see the light. Maybe? But people who just watch the show on CBS won't do that. And I'll be irritated that most of us are suckers to editing. CBS loves Dick and Daniele and they want us to hate Jen. Watching BBAD, it's difficult to hate any of them.
I hope America doesn't vote for her to be the target of all Eric's "pranks" because her nonreaction won't make for very good television. Mustard all over her shirt. Her reaction? "that's funny" The chick doesn't let things get to her. How can you not love her for the way Dick's threats and attacks just rolled off her back? Awesome.
And the making the bathing suits from the unitard? JENius.


Nick and Daniele? bore the crap out of me. And they really think people care. They're playing each other big time. Or at least I hope they are. I'm pretty sure I would like her to leave asap. If for no other reason than this:

and this:

I'm also pretty sure I need him to shave his mustache. Mohawk Thursday. A mohawk with that mustache? yikesy. I'm okay with punk rockers having mohawks. I'm not so sure about the Nicks of the world. Mohawk just doesn't seem to fit him. But? Even in all his cheesiness and violentness and bad-mustachedness, he's still the prettiest thing on my television this summer. I like him because I'm shallow. *shrug*


I can't decide if I like anybody else in the house. I like Dick sometimes but sometimes he reminds you that he really is a dick. For real.

Oh! Jessica. I like Jessica. She tries to have fun.
I might like Eric. I have to try to get beyond the "America's Player" lame pranks to decide for sure.

Hell's Kitchen is boring this summer. hmmm... I think it was last summer too.
My ittle birdy, Hok, is gone from So You Think You Can Dance.

I wanted to put this somewhere to see how well I do but I didn't want to change my PTTE list at RTVW. I suck at those but I don't change them. heh.
Will go:
Sara
Kameron
Lauren
Dominic
Jaimie
Pasha
Lacey
Neil
Danny
Sabra

so last night I had a (oh my!) sex dream about Nick Starcevic. I should stop watching reality shows. Doesn't help that I turn Big Brother After Dark on at midnight and fall asleep watching it.

Of course, it also doesn't help that he looks the way he does.


omg. I just noticed those little heart things on that bottom picture. I did.not. put them there. lol

So You Think You Can Dance is really a fun show. I have been entertained by it for three summers in a row. I was reading a bit on TWoP (it's difficult for me to read everything there since everybody has something to say about everything and most of it is a bunch of nothing) and saw that they compared Lauren to Jordin. I found that very fitting. I just hope Lauren doesn't win because that would be major upsets from two of my favorite reality television shows in the same year. My heart couldn't take it, I fear.

I really miss Rock Star. Like, really a lot. I know there would have never been another Lukas or Ryan (Good Lord How I Do Love Them ~ it's kind of overwhelming sometimes) for me but as with American Idol and never being another Bucky or Chris, I still love the show. For me, Rock Star is way better than American Idol. It's such a shame they didn't carry it through. I'm not giving up though. I'll keep sending emails.

I've been watching Big Brother After Dark every night. Don't ask me why. It's really annoying to see so much of these people on your television. Thank God Rock Star didn't have that because I wouldn't have slept at.all. from July to the middle of September.

Friday Night Lights first season on DVD - Release date August 28th. Price $29.95.




*counts pennies*

My sister called me Monday night at 10:03 and said, “Turn on channel 25.” I turned to my husband and said, “Turn on channel 25.” She waited for me to tell him and said, “Chris Benoit is dead.” My mouth dropped open and I said, “What? Chris Benoit?” Then I saw the tribute on channel 25. WWE had canceled all matches that were scheduled for that night to “remember” Chris Benoit. The show had started at 8:00. I had already missed two hours of it but I asked my husband to record the rest. I was stunned and saddened.

I haven’t been a loyal watcher of professional wrestling for quite a few years but I would occasionally turn it on and kind of scoff at the storylines or drool over some hot guy in tights. I think I was about nine when I started watching wrestling. It was whenever that whole Hulkamania thing started. Over the twenty or so years that I watched loyally, I had several favorite wrestlers but a few always remained untouched at the top of my list. Those few were/are Bret Hart (“The Best There Is, The Best There Was, and The Best There Ever Will Be” – truth), Chris Benoit, and Eddie Guerrero. I’ve liked several others, obviously, through the years but when asked who my favorite wrestlers were/are, I could/can always start off with those three. I didn’t always love the characters but I always respected, admired and enjoyed the wrestlers.

Respect.

Triple H said that’s the word that came to his mind when asked to describe Chris Benoit. It seemed to fit. How could you not respect arguably one of the greatest wrestlers to ever step into the ring? He seemed to give respect and show respect as much as he received and demanded it. Good word, Triple H.

Respect.

Edge said Chris was one of the few people backstage he could always go to when he needed to talk. He said there were only a few and now two of them are gone. Perhaps one of the other ones was Eddie. I don’t know. That’s just a guess. Let me sidetrack to Eddie for a minute.

Eddie Guerrero spent a good part of his career not getting the respect he so greatly deserved. The other parts were spent on addiction to alcohol and pain killers... for the most part. Eddie’s career path was starting to finally take an upswing. He was getting great storylines and big matches. He was traveling and performing more and more. He was gaining more and more respect. His rehabilitation was effective. He hadn’t abused drugs for four years. On November 13, 2005, his nephew Chavo found him unconscious in his hotel room and the first person he called was Chris Benoit, Eddie’s best friend. Chavo tried to revive Eddie to no avail. Eddie Guerrero was pronounced dead by the paramedics. Apparently, all the years of drug abuse weakened his blood vessels and his heart complications went undetected. He was 38 years old.

It was said that Eddie was slated to win the World Heavyweight Championship match that they were to tape that night. No wrestlers were forced to perform that night but several matches still took place. Chavo chose to wrestle that night and ended his match with a Frog Splash, his uncle’s signature finishing move.

In April 2006, Eddie was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame by Chavo, Rey Mysterio and Chris Benoit.

In March 2007, Sports Illustrated posted an article on their website regarding their investigation on steroid and HGH use by professional athletes. Eddie was named in this article.
R.I.P Eddie (October 9, 1967 – November 13, 2005)

Respect.

It’s hard for me to know that I shouldn’t use that word for Chris Benoit anymore. How do you respect somebody who savagely kills his wife and his seven year old son and then hangs himself? But how do you not respect somebody who brought excitement, intensity, and determination to the ring every time and commanded and gave respect to every person he met everywhere he went all the time? How do you lose respect for Chris Benoit? I’m reading that everywhere today. How terrible his actions were. How you can’t kill your family and yourself and still be respected. I get that. I do. I realize what he did was terrible and unforgivable and whatever. I just can’t help looking at pictures of him and watching tape of his matches and not using that word. Respect.

When I met Chris Benoit, it was the first time I ever went to an event such as it was alone. Nobody could go with me and I didn’t care. I had to meet him. I had to. As nervous as I was to stand there alone, I was more nervous to come face to face with somebody I had daydreams about and respected so much. I was in awe of him and amazed by him. He was signing autographs outside an auto parts store. I don’t know why and I can’t clearly remember exactly when. It was somewhere between 1996 and 1997 and it was hot and pouring down rain. I bought him a stuffed puppy (I don’t remember what the significance of it was. He told stories about his Rottweiler knocking his tooth out later but this wasn’t a stuffed Rottweiler. It was gray and white. *shrug*) and forgot my camera (now that I’m thinking about it, I’m pretty sure I ran into the drug store and bought a disposable one. Hmmm..) and I stood there in the rain and just watched him signing autographs and shaking people’s hands. Some guy from the auto parts store was shooting free t-shirts (Mark Martin t-shirts) out of some kind of popping device and came over to hand me one. I talked to him for a few minutes, telling him why I was there, why I would stand in the pouring down rain all alone for a handshake from a professional wrestler. “Because he’s one of my favorite wrestlers and I want to meet him.” Simple. When I finally got up to the table, it had stopped raining long ago and I’m sure I looked a mess, Chris looked up at me and smiled, “What’s your name?” I smiled back. Unheard of. Usually when I meet famous people, I can’t speak or do anything but hang my mouth open or giggle. “Hi. Gloria. Here. I bought this for you.” And I handed him the stuffed puppy. He looked up at me and blinked. “You did?” He stood up from his chair and leaned across the table and hugged me. That was the first time he stood up since I watched him sit down an hour or so earlier. He sat back down and put the puppy on the table to his left and smiled at it. “Gloria,” he said and signed his picture. I asked him to sign an extra one for a friend and he did (he asked me how to spell Diane). He shook my hand and I said, “Thank you so much.” He looked me in the eyes and said, “thank you.” I stayed there until he left. I sat in my car and watched him. I know, it was stalkerish or whatever but I wasn’t ready to stop watching him. There weren’t many people behind me in line so I didn’t have to sit there too long. I watched his assistant or whoever she was (it wasn’t Nancy, I know that) gather up the extra pictures and putting them in a box. Then she started to take the pens and such from the table and he reached over and took the puppy and carried into the limo.

See. So I can’t not remember that. I’m reading all these things about how terrible he is and how inhumane murder-suicide is. I know. I mean. He brutally killed his wife and his son (his 7 year old son!) and committed suicide and I started to write this entry and wanted to talk about how I have been disillusioned and disheartened yet again by somebody I respect tremendously and admire greatly...
but now all I can think about is him smiling at that stuffed puppy.

R.I.P. Chris (May 21, 1967 – June 25, 2007)

Benoit family found dead

R.I.P. Chris

Hey Hok! Nice... ummm... car...
... yeah. "car"

So. SYTYCD is underway and I was thinking back on my favorite dancers of seasons past. The only one I remember from Season 1 is Blake McGrath. Can I just tell you how much I loved this guy? He's incredible... and apparently not hurting for work. I guess I remember Nick but I remember him because I remember liking Blake more.




Gah.

My season 2 favorites were Travis, Ivan, Allison and Natalie (Trivallie). Apparently I like the lyrical dances. They grab my insides and twist them all around. I still think it's a crime that Heidi and Donyelle outlasted Natalie and Allison. And? that Benji beat out Travis for the win. *rolls eyes*

I want to have a favorite this year based on more than just hottness but I don't yet. Well, I guess my love for Hok is based on more than just his looks. I have a soft spot for him that's been there for a couple years. Glad to finally see him there. I'm not sure how long he'll last though and I'm not sure I could handle him doing a lyrical number. My soft spot for Ivan exploded into some kind of maternal adoration when he did his lyrical number with Allison. awwww. I love Ivan.

ahhhhhhhhh. I loved Allison's last dance. With Travis just standing there. ohmigawd *heartwrench*

hmmm... I wonder how we're going to record all of our shows while we're gone. I think you can only record like 20 hours worth of stuff. yikes. We'll have to go through the guide and pick and choose.
Hell's Kitchen
SYTYCD
Pirate Master
RW/RR
Traveler
General Hospital (that'd be like 7 hours right there... hmmm)

What am I missing? There's got to be tons more.

Here Jen (said she didn't think Ace was my type).

ummm... yeah.

So anyway... I love those Real World/Road Rules challenges.

On a happier note though...
I watched the Dancing with the Stars finale last night. I totally called the final four in order. Awesome. I loved watching Apolo and Juliane. I adore Joey Fatone (he's on Howard today) and it was nice to see Kym dance more than she could last year with Jerry Springer. I am in total awe of and total lust with Maksim. I admire Ian's determination and will and I always love to watch Cheryl. It turned out to be a not so bad season with a fairy tale ending... and lots of mmmMaksim.

American Idol Season 6 Finale (Finally)

Here we go. I’m not even sure why I’m watching this. My eyes hurt so much from all the eye rolling this season.

Ryan tells Simon he already looks bored. And he does. And it just makes me love him more.

Blake and Jordin singing “I Saw Her Standing There”. Hey! This song says “She was just 17…” And guess.how.old.Jordin.is. *rolls eyes*

Gwen singing “Four in the Morning” via satellite. Did they play the track and show her singing live? Because she didn’t look like she was singing what we were hearing. She was moving her mouth weird. But I liked the song.

Kelly Clarkson singing live on the Idol stage for the first time since she won. “Never Again” Awesome. Wow! She’s so good. Hot boots.

Oy. The Golden Idol Awards. *rolls eyes* The only thing I will say about them is Cake was robbed of the Best Buddies award. Jonathan and Kenneth were fun though.

Top six guys. FI-NAL-LY! There’s my little Cuddlepuppy. *ovaries* It’s crazy how much I just want to hug him when he’s on the screen. Such a good hugger. Smokey Robinson comes out and spoils my moment. He sounds good though. Looks like they hired the Dancing With The Stars camera men for the finale. Dude, I don’t care what the audience is doing. *rolls eyes* Show me my Chris.

Blake, Doug E Fresh and Barry B. That? was awesome. It woke up a tired season (a few months too late). It’s amazing to me what he can do with his mouth. umm (“what he can do with is mouth” is echoing in my head)… mmmmm Cake.

Golden Idol yadda yadda *rolls eyes*

Top *rolls eyes* six girls. *yawn* I talked to my husband through all of this.
Gladys Knight was great.

Tony Bennett. I fast forwarded through this. Sue me.

Melinda with the people she used to sing backup for. BB and CC something. She sounds better than they do. Hubby paused the show after this and went to marinade steaks for tomorrow night's (tonight’s) dinner and I heard him singing this song (something about lights, right?) in the kitchen. So cute.

Ford commercial (“Time After Time”) looks like behind the scenes stuff. So cute that they all got along so well.

Jordin *rolls eyes* and Blake get new Mustangs. Blake is adorable.

Carrie Underwood “I’ll Stand By You”. Awesome. She’s gorgeous.

Clive Davis. *rolls eyes* Carrie sold six million records.

African Children’s Choir. OhmyGod how I love these kids. *holds onto ovaries*

Sanjaya with Joe Perry “You Really Got Me”. Awesome! Laugh at him all you want, people. Your kids will be waiting in line to buy his record and crying every time he’s on television. Flashback of me watching the Osmonds: *sob* I *sob* love Donny *sob*. SHUT.UP. I told you I was like three years old.

Green Day “Working Class Hero”. Now I remember why I’m watching this. Soooooo good. Remind me why I hated them for a couple years a little while back.

Taylor Hicks “Heaven Knows”. Okay. I was over him by I think about this time last year. He’s alright but whatever.

Ruben and Jordin “You’re All I Need To Get By”. *rolls eyes* Ruben sounds good. Sounds like the sound people turned down Screechin’s microphone. *yawn*

Bette Midler “Wind Beneath My Wings”. *rolls eyes* Yikesy. Sue me.

Tribute to Sgt. Pepper. Kelly Clarkson and Joe Perry. "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" Awesome. Kelly introduces Taylor. "A Day In The Life" Pretty damn good. Taylor introduces Carrie. "She's Leaving Home" Awesome. Top six girls again singing backup (or something) for Carrie. *rolls eyes* Ruben with the top 12. “With A Little Help From My Friends”. Sligh is back on form it seems. Hey baby? It’s like 10 weeks too late.

Hmmm… glad we set the DVR to record the news.

Blake and Jordin on stage waiting for the results. 74 million votes. Blake kisses Jordin’s hand. Classy. Jordin looks smug and expectant. *rolls eyes* And the winner is… Jordin. *rolls eyes and sees back of head*

Jordin screeches her way through “This Is My Now”. *rolls eyes* She’s fake-crying again too. *rolls eyes* What a horrible song. Cuddlepuppy shows her respect and leads the others in doing the same. This chick has absolutely nothing to offer the music industry. That's a shame.

mmmm Cake


Rankings:
1. Cuddlepuppy in a white suit
2. Green Day
3. Kelly Clarkson
4. Blake and Doug E Fresh
5. African Childrens Choir
6. Sanjaya and Joe
7. Carrie Underwood

P.S. Dear Constantine, get a life. Thanks.
My husband thinks he's funny. Every time that skeevy weirdo showed up on the screen, hubby would say, "Look! There's your boyfriend." And then he'd rewind it and pause.

Final Idol Performance Show
ummm... Chris Richardson is gorgeous and adorable, Blake is awesome and Jordin is screechy and that song sucked.
Chris Daughtry should be having his feet licked by everybody that has anything to do with this show. He's incredible. He looked lickable. I might lick his feet. I doubt it.

ON THE LOT!!!!

woo hoo! Go Randy! He is so funny. I loved it in the beginning when they said that only one would win and they held the camera on him for a few seconds. Yeah baby. Playing with his mustache when Carrie Fisher was babbling. Kissing the story he pulled out from under his chair.

oooh. Andrew Hunt. He's one to watch.

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Randy made it to the next round. I wish we could have seen his pitch.

This looks like a really fun show. Props to evilMBP again.


A picture of Randy and Ryan just because it cracks me up:

I am having a really busy day. I just ventured over to RTVW and saw something that perked me up and made me forget what I was supposed to be doing. So then I checked my email and there it was. The alert.
NBC is leaving the Lights on. I just got done flying around my office like a madwoman and now I am back to my normal, cool and composed self. I have a lot of thoughts about this (Really Glowie? You do?) but I am superbusy so I will have to do that later.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy

5/9/07 Resultzzzzz show

I'm sorry. I just don't care. I keep wanting to and trying to but I don't. I don't even care enough to try to explain why I don't care. So I'll refer you to this. She explained it perfectly.

Bye bye LaKisha. Best of luck to you. Go see that daughter of yours. Oh yeah. She has a daughter ~ who hasn't been mentioned since the auditions.

Just bring on the finale already. If they insist on giving us so much filler, at least fill us with something good (mmmm Cake). If we would have seen more personality oozing out all over the place and making me want to kiss puppies and shit rainbows, like this, I might have had interest in more than Cuddlepuppy's arms and Blake's beatboxing. The behind the scenes footage is so fun to watch. If Chris wasn't eliminated last week forcing me to find out if he really is as nice as he seemed (and wanting pictures of those arms), I might not know that he is funny, sweet, compassionate, and way more talented than we got to see on the show. I have to find you a picture of him holding Phil's daughter. Somebody somewhere said, "hold on to your ovaries, ladies." Thankfully, I listened to her before I looked. yeeesh. We haven't seen a whole lot of any of that this year on the show. It's all hidden on americanidol.com. Seriously? Who goes there? Besides I'd rather see it on my 57" television than on my computer screen. Show us that these people have personalities. I hope they remember that next year. Don't get me wrong. I don't care who is in prison or whose wife used to be a stripper. But. I'd like to know something about them. And please please please no more close ups of 17 year old pageant girl Amazonians trying to put on fake tears for the camera every time somebody else that she doesn't care enough about to muster up any real tears for gets sent home. Throw me a bone. Even a little one to chew on every once in a while. Don't give me a little one in January and then deprive me until May. By that time I don't even want one anymore.

And just for the pimpage, take a look at this. Yeah. Bet you didn't know that.



Okay, here goes... But really. You have to listen to the girl that said we better hold onto our ovaries because that's some wise advice. Are you ready? Courtesy of chrisrichardsonpics.com:

Seriously? Yep. Seriously. I mean Come!On!

I want to pop out a kid just so he can hold it for photos. yeeeeeeesh.

Save a horse

"I Ran" arm porn

Blake and Chris arm porn all in one tiny little photo (that I stole from somewhere and I forget where ~ sorry!) from one of the bazillion Cake fansites